Stir Crazy Shrimp and Grits

Rex

I was hanging out at the ranch by myself last night (not because of Captain Trips, it’s just who I am). Anyway, I got a bit peckish and decided I should probably take in some grains in a non-liquid form for a change. So I decided to put on my chef hat and think, if you can imagine me thinking (or wearing a chef hat for that matter).

If you’ve read this food section of our blog before, you might be familiar with my incredible skills making delicious food while not wanting to work too hard or get a knife dirty. And this recipe is the same, though you could slice some cheese or aromatics if you aren’t so drunk you might hack your finger off. Unless you’re one of those lazy people who buy their cheese already grated (SWIDT?).

Before you start, you’ll need some quality ingredients on hand. The base ones you can probably get from Whole Foods or some other intentionally expensive boutique outlet if you’re silly. I recommend Amazon Prime for the grits (buying in bulk is amazingly cheap) and your local grocery purveyor (Walmart, perhaps) for the protein.

Ingredients:

Quaker Instant Grits packets
Frozen shrimp cocktail tray, thawed
Other stuff, as and if

Directions:

See the back of the grits packet for cooking directions and then add the truffles and caviar once the porridge starts to simmer or after it’s cooked in the microwave (which, being a purist, is my preferred device for this dish). And by ‘truffles and caviar,’ I mean shrimp and cheese and / or whatever you think you can keep down. I’m not saying it will get a Michelin star. I’m saying you can eat it.

I write these things up as attempts at humor, but I never write about something I tried and did not like. For whatever that might be worth.

Stock image, obvs

I hope I’ve brightened your day inside your house a little and given you a reason to go to the kitchen and get ‘cooking.’ It isn’t a Nautilus machine, but at least you will walk a few more steps. That’s exercise in my book.

Join us next time on ‘Rex Gets Drunk and Thinks Up Stuff to Eat!’ 

Eat the world,

Rex