If you’re reading this review to determine if you should see the sixth and (supposedly) final Resident Evil movie, I need you to do something for me. Turn off whatever device you are on right now, go outside, and think about how you got to this point in your life.
Assuming you’re still reading, I can safely assume you already know whether you plan to see this movie or not. After all, this is a franchise movie based on over the top action, violence, apocalyptic scenarios, absurd contrivances, and coincidences that border on miraculous. Oh, and it is nominally related to a video game series. In other words: it’s guaranteed to be a trainwreck of a movie just like all the other ones in the series.
That doesn’t mean it can’t be mindlessly entertaining fun.
This “final chapter” of the series picks up some point after the last movie but never really explains what happened in the interim. This is something that happens with most of the movies, so it’s already keeping to tradition. At the very start, you are treated to a short recap of the story so far. In case you were unaware: Umbrella Corporation caused a zombie apocalypse and humanity is on the brink of extinction. Whoops. Also, Ser Jorah Mormont (Sorry, Dr. Isaacs) is a bad guy, and Alice (played by Mila Jovovich) is the hero.
There is a plot device basically telling Alice she needs to go back to The Hive (the location of the first movie) to stop the extermination of the remaining human survivors, and she only has 48 hours to do it.
Commence travel, zombie butt kicking, fighting with Umbrella Corporation soldiers, meeting up with other survivors, seeing another familiar face (who has somehow maintained perfect hair during the apocalypse when no one else has). Blah blah blah.
Less than two hours later, the movie is over as well as Alice’s story arc. Supposedly. You can never tell with Hollywood.
Overall opinion is that the movie is worth seeing as nothing more than mindless entertainment and a decent wrap-up to the series and storylines. You will not be a better person for having seen it. You can at least be entertained, as long as you know what you’re signing up for (which at this point, if you don’t, then I can’t help you). Keep your expectations low, and you won’t be disappointed.
Well, maybe. Even with low expectations, these movies are pretty terrible despite the fun.
TL;DR Summary: See the movie for mindless entertainment only. Or don’t. Whatever decision you make on this one, you won’t really be any worse off for it.
A Month of Misfitting - January
It’s been a busy month here in Misfitsland...we rolled out a new site, welcomed a handful of great pieces from some guest contributors, got accused of a whole bunch of nonsense and wrote quite a bit.
The best news of all, is that you guys read a lot. A LOT!
In total, the Misfits wrote 21 original pieces and our guests contributed 12 others. In addition, there were 4 MisfitMemo weekly recaps, two #OldManYellsatClouds and four #AskAlex’s. Some of those pieces drew more attention than others, so we’d like to close the month by counting down the 10 most widely read and talked about pieces from the Month of January:
10) On January 16th, Lauren (@LilMissRightie) joined us as a guest to tell you why Personhood is the conversation that 2017 needs.
9) Two days before inauguration, Alex Baldwin told us all why Donald Trump was unfit for office, and why “giving him a chance” was a fool’s errand.
8) Guest contributor @RaymondWPS explained why even reasoned pro-choice voices can be bothered by the agenda and activities of Planned Parenthood.
7) Three weeks earlier, Raymond penned another popular piece when he took on the pressures exerted on oppressed groups to support anyone who claims victimhood.
6) Rebecca de Winter’s moving and heartfelt tribute to her autistic son is the only piece here that wasn’t written in January. It is now over two months old, but continues to resonate with readers in a remarkable way.
5) A week after he angered “left wing conservatives”, @danieltobin quickly reminded them of exactly what he had been warning about.
4) As President Obama prepared to leave office, @molratty took a sobering look at his performance against the lofty ideals that he had expressed before he was president.
3) On January 19th, regular contributor @patriot_musket discussed the hard-to-explain list of inclusions and exclusions at the Women’s March in his usual witty style.
There were two pieces that resonated with readers in a way that nothing else we have ever published has, and became our most-read articles of the month. In fact, their total readership was so close, I’ve decided to name them #1 and #1a for the month of January.
1a) In “The Abortion Dodge” @molratty took The Atlantic to task for their (since almost entirely redacted) nonsense suggesting that ultrasounds were the source of anti-abortion feelings in America.
1) @danieltobin roused some serious anger from defenders of Evan McMullin when he asked What Happened to McMullin? on January 12th.
We hope you’ve enjoyed this month as much as we have, and we look forward to an equally productive February!
Welcome to the latest edition of the Misfit Weekly Rewind, where we round up our best tweets and blog posts from the week. We laughed, we cried, we...well maybe not, but we did have a lot of fun, and we’d love for you to join us.
So let’s get this party started!
The week got off to a roaring start, with The Atlantic publishing a piece so ridiculous, so stupid, so insane...well - see for yourself:
In arguably one of the most hilarious moments on Twitter to date, Senator Ted Cruz punked the sports website Deadspin after writer Ashley Feinberg tried to take him down a notch. Emphasis on “tried,” because the response from Cruz was nothing short of glorious:
Instead of handling this smackdown in good humor, Deadspin decided to double down, and hilarity ensued.
The 2017 March for Life took place last week, and it was a huge success, as always. It was especially historic, as Vice President Pence attended and addressed the crowd personally (the highest ranking public official ever to do this). The pro-choice leftists had a field day with their ugly, snide remarks and insults, of course.
Trump signed an Executive Order on refugees, nobody took the time to really read it, and the internet has nearly imploded into itself. The factually wrong hashtag #MuslimBan took off (note: there is no Muslim ban) and people left and right are losing their minds, to put it mildly.
Miscellaneous Misfit Musings:
Finally, here are our blog posts from the past week. We had a lot of great stuff, you won’t want to miss any of it!
“The Failure of Journalism,” by CC
“Film Critics Also Victim To Liberal Media Distemper,” by Regular Contributor Brad Slager (@MartiniShark)
“Thoughts on Vetting,” by Daryl
“Ask Alex - January 27, 2017,” by Alex
“March for Life Gets a Makeover,” by Guest Contributor Allen Ray (@2CynicAl65)
“How to Train Your Democrat,” by CDP
“#RemainSeatedForPP,” by Regular Contributor Raymond (@RaymondWPS)
“Oscars 2017: Predictions,” by Andrew Lynch
“The Abortion Dodge,” by Mo
“I Want To Punch You. Will You Defend Me?” by Andrew Lynch
“Bumps in the Road,” by Daryl
“Where *Can* Conservatives Find Allies on the Left?” by Alex
“M. Night Shyamalan Has Gotten His Groove Back,” by Andrew Lynch
Thank you for joining us for this week’s Weekly Rewind! Be sure to follow us at @MisfitsPolitics so you can keep up with everything we’re up to. Lastly, we'd love for you to join us for #MisfitMischief - where we kick back, pour a drink, and leave all politics behind to just be goofy and have fun (no regular set times, just check the hashtag regularly to join in!).
Just a gaggle of people from all over who have similar interests and loud opinions mixed with a dose of humor. We met on Twitter.