Old Man Yells at Cloud Vol. 2

Rex

Welcome back, fellow curmudgeons, for the second edition of #OMYAC!

As you know, I don’t get irritated by very many things. OK, done laughing now? Anyway, one thing that does bother me is when people who are paid to know better manage to abuse the English language in ways that would embarrass an eighth grader (assuming the eighth grader attends a school not under the purview of the Department of Education).

This week, I read a piece by a prominent guy on one of the cable news sites. He used “illicit” when he meant “elicit.” That irritates me no end. Dude’s a lawyer too. #YoYourHonorPerSe

A few years ago, I read a piece at a major news outlet where the writer used “segway” when he meant “segue.” This error is on that level, but without the benefit of being funny. Inattention to detail makes me crazy. What? Yes, especially when I do it.

I’m not the kind of guy who lets every little grammatical error drive me insane [LOL - ed]. Sometimes I even throw in extraneous apostrophes just to throw the judges off the scent of my mastery of our beautiful language. But the effect of people using “affect” when they mean “effect” is that I get irritated. If you’re typing in English, learn to speak it. Butt fur eel dough.

Let’s move on to the important part of #OMYAC (join in on the twitter hashtag if you like!): The part where my irritations are validated by other people also being irritated by the Slows wherever they encounter them.

First up we have Rebecca, who is a stickler for politeness. She is a lady and expects others to act like ladies and gentlemen. In case you don’t know, she is also our editor-in-chief. That has nothing to do with her getting the first ever comment on #OMYAC, of course. We’re all about ethics here at Misfits.

#OMYAC @LunaticRex I hate it when I let someone in front of me in traffic and I don't get the "friendly wave" back.

— Rebecca de Winter □ (@BlazerMc88) January 4, 2017

Oh, Rebecca. Your naïveté is so refreshing. I never let anyone in. I used to, but they never gave me the friendly wave. So fuck ‘em. This is my road. ‘We can be friends, but you gotta make it out of traffic. And I’m not willing to help.’ Hope this... helped!

It is also not a good idea to tell this lady how to tweet. In addition to being a wonderful person and a talented writer and my favorite editor ever, she also sports a ferocious GIF game. Beware the wrath of Rebecca!

When people scold @JHolmsted or me for cursing. #OMYAC @LunaticRex pic.twitter.com/bd816O7mCY

— Rebecca de Winter ? (@BlazerMc88) January 4, 2017

While you’re at it, also avoid the ire of our fearless leader, J.R. If you get on both her and Rebecca’s nerves simultaneously, go to Facebook or binge watch something and just hope it blows over soon.

When people tell others how they should Twitter #OMYAC. @BlazerMc88 @LunaticRex pic.twitter.com/GySRfmrMcf

— J.R. Holmsted ? (@JHolmsted) January 4, 2017

​Next up, our good friend Michelle wonders why people seeking better employment tell you their life story when you just ask ‘how’s it going?’

When you politely ask a cashier how his/her day is going, and they tell you every life problem they have. @LunaticRex #OMYAC

— Michelle Bama Belle (@MyBamaBelle528) January 5, 2017

This rarely happens to me for reasons that would become obvious the moment you met me. But on the odd occasion where some confused Slow doesn’t immediately sense my innate grouchiness, I just walk away. I figure they’re the one on the clock and tied to a register. Once I pay, I get to leave. I try to be friendly and sometimes funny (if I’m on my meds). But I walk away. I’m very busy and important.

Our pal Schültzie mentioned the atrocities many young entertainers these days visit upon the Star Spangled Banner when they are honored to be asked to perform it at sporting events. I couldn’t agree more, my friend. Our national anthem isn’t about the performer; it’s about America!

Schültzie also complained that Hogan’s Heroes isn’t on television any more. I know nothing!

Thanks to all who contributed your ‘minor’ annoyances this week. For those who were too busy dealing with assholes, I want to share your irritation. So let me know what drives you batshit. If you could please use the hashtag #OMYAC, that would be most helpful. Not that most of you owe me anything. Some of you do. You fuckers know who you are.

Yours in aggravation,

Rex