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#MisfitMemo Special Edition: The Bar of Broken Dreams

5/18/2017

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Requiem of Election 2016

Somewhere in a bar, Rubio and Cruz look at each other from across the way and think the same thing: we should've worked together.

— Andrew Lynch (@GentlemanRascal) May 18, 2017

They move to sit next to each other. Silent, saying nothing. Nothing needs to be said. The bartender pours them both whiskey. He knows.

— Andrew Lynch (@GentlemanRascal) May 18, 2017

Kasich sidles up next to them. Cruz glares at him until he chooses another seat further down. Some wounds don't heal.

— Andrew Lynch (@GentlemanRascal) May 18, 2017

Further down the bar, there's a man practically crying into his drink. "I can never get out of their shadows. I coulda been someone..."

— Andrew Lynch (@GentlemanRascal) May 18, 2017

"I coulda been a contender. But 2020. 2020 is it. Wait until 2020." The bartender cuts Jeb(!) off.

— Andrew Lynch (@GentlemanRascal) May 18, 2017

There is a man holding court in the corner of the bar, talking incessantly, never paying for his drinks and surrounded by adoring hipsters.

— Andrew Lynch (@GentlemanRascal) May 18, 2017

They mostly let Crazy Bernie do his thing. He's harmless. Usually they just need to tell him to quiet down--agitated hipsters create messes.

— Andrew Lynch (@GentlemanRascal) May 18, 2017

The atmosphere in this bar used to be a lot darker, until She Who Must Not Be Named disappeared into the woods. No one asks. No one wants to

— Andrew Lynch (@GentlemanRascal) May 18, 2017

The bar goes silent as two people pause in the entrance. Everyone just turns and stares at them pointedly.

— Andrew Lynch (@GentlemanRascal) May 18, 2017

The smaller of the two walks in smiling, not noticing the atmosphere of the crowd around him. He thinks they're all friends still.

— Andrew Lynch (@GentlemanRascal) May 18, 2017

The larger one, with a hulking ogre like demeanor, however notices. He sweats (whether from nervousness or from the walking is unclear).

— Andrew Lynch (@GentlemanRascal) May 18, 2017

"Hey, Ben." He says, barely above a whisper. Even the music in the background seems to die. Ben doesn't hear him as he says hi to others.

— Andrew Lynch (@GentlemanRascal) May 18, 2017

"Hey, Ben." He says a bit louder. He hasn't moved from the entrance. Ben hears him this time. "What's up, Chris?"

— Andrew Lynch (@GentlemanRascal) May 18, 2017

"I think we should get a drink elsewhere. I... I could use some more steps today." "Sure, Chris! We can see our friends later." They leave.

— Andrew Lynch (@GentlemanRascal) May 18, 2017

They don't see the number of middle fingers flipped to them as they leave. People are still holding those up as someone else walks in...

— Andrew Lynch (@GentlemanRascal) May 18, 2017

"SCOTT?!" Gasps fill the bar. No one has seen Scott in a long time. Not a word from him. "You're alive?!" He shrugs like Han Solo would.

— Andrew Lynch (@GentlemanRascal) May 18, 2017

Scott walks to his seat and maintains his silence. The sudden quiet is interrupted with the unmistakable sound of Hannity shouting on TV.

— Andrew Lynch (@GentlemanRascal) May 18, 2017

Someone throws a shoe at the TV. No one knows who. No one cares. The channel is quickly changed.

— Andrew Lynch (@GentlemanRascal) May 18, 2017

(A later inspection of the shoe reveals it to likely be a Birkenstock. Once again, agitated hipsters)

— Andrew Lynch (@GentlemanRascal) May 18, 2017

Just as they don't speak Her name, they don't speak about The Other One. The one who won. Saying his name is a bannable offense.

— Andrew Lynch (@GentlemanRascal) May 18, 2017

Occasionally Rand will smirk knowingly, refraining from a snarky comment. The rest of the bar waits for the day they can punch his smug face

— Andrew Lynch (@GentlemanRascal) May 18, 2017

They have, however, punched Mike. But he was telling terrible jokes and wouldn't shut up. It was justified.

— Andrew Lynch (@GentlemanRascal) May 18, 2017

Carly, one of the few ladies in here tonight (not making moon eyes at Bernie) is sitting poised with her martini, mostly unphased by things.

— Andrew Lynch (@GentlemanRascal) May 18, 2017

She's one of the few that seems to have maintained some shred of dignity here. But she's a businesswoman. It is what it is.

— Andrew Lynch (@GentlemanRascal) May 18, 2017

Someone wonders outloud about where Evan has been lately. The bartender shakes his head sadly. "Haven't seen him for a bit, but..."

— Andrew Lynch (@GentlemanRascal) May 18, 2017

"...I hear tell he's been cozying up to that bar on the left side of town. You know the one." "The one that pretends to be intellectual?"

— Andrew Lynch (@GentlemanRascal) May 18, 2017

"Yes, that's the one. He and Sally started hanging out. Things haven't been the same. Louise is still stalking him, though."

— Andrew Lynch (@GentlemanRascal) May 18, 2017

The night passes as usual. Mostly without incident. Most of them have jobs to get back to the next day. There's nothing more to be done.

— Andrew Lynch (@GentlemanRascal) May 18, 2017

And as She once asked them all, at this point, what difference does it make?

— Andrew Lynch (@GentlemanRascal) May 18, 2017

Slowly they filter out into the night. The bartender says goodbye to them all as they leave, warning them to be careful of Russians

— Andrew Lynch (@GentlemanRascal) May 18, 2017

The bartender starts to close down. Another night done, another night of this sullen reality among his group of regulars.

— Andrew Lynch (@GentlemanRascal) May 18, 2017

There's a noise from the corner of the room as a chair shifts. The bartender jumps. "Shit, Gilmore! I completely forgot about you!"

— Andrew Lynch (@GentlemanRascal) May 18, 2017

"That... seems to be a recurring issue." "You gotta stop sneaking around. Make some noise, Jared. Let us know you're even alive."

— Andrew Lynch (@GentlemanRascal) May 18, 2017

Gilmore settles his tab and leaves. The bar is left with just a man cleaning the glasses, the soft glow of TV. A new silence descends.

— Andrew Lynch (@GentlemanRascal) May 18, 2017

The TV flashes pictures of The One Who Would Be King. The bartender shakes his head. The silence deepens, strengthens.

— Andrew Lynch (@GentlemanRascal) May 18, 2017

It is the silence of a man waiting for President Pence.

— Andrew Lynch (@GentlemanRascal) May 18, 2017

/Fin

— Andrew Lynch (@GentlemanRascal) May 18, 2017

Follow Andrew on Twitter @GentlemanRascal and follow @MisfitsPolitics for even more political fun!
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  MisfitsPolitics
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