Back in March 2016, I was approached online by a dubious individual who goes by @JHolmsted on Twitter. We had been following each other for a couple years-ish by then. She asked if I might be interested in becoming part of a group DM of like-minded folks just to have some laughs and shoot the shit. I’m a shit shooter from way back, so of course I immediately agreed. Soon thereafter, we set up a blog because we have things to say and blogs are easy to create these days (send submissions to us - we’ll publish almost anything) and started realizing there was a popular desire for twitter to be fun again (LOL, we were so naïve in the olden days). It’s a tale as old as time, or at least as old as March 2016. I’ve told it before. Then one day in late summer going into autumn of that same year, another of our little band of weirdos thought it might be a fun thing to entertain ourselves and other folks who liked jibber jabber and might want to have a giggle. The person who came up with that now legendary idea is @GentlemanRascal, Misfit Emeritus and Hall of Famer. #MisfitMischief was born.
The first time Mischief happened was Friday, 23 September 2016 at 19:30 Central. I have no recollection of how that time was chosen; I think it was just convenient at the time and we stuck with it because all the wonderful folks who love to play along immediately took to it. There was no real plan for it to become a thing that happened regularly every week. As I recall it, we figured it might be a giggle for a bit from time to time. And we haven’t missed very many Friday nights in the intervening years. #MisfitMischief is as loved by us as it is by everyone who joins us on Fridays.
Our little band of brothers and sisters is small but very tight. We all know each other’s kid’s names and such like. There are three Misfits who man the account for Mischief, and one of them is the guy who also always drives #MisfitGifChallenge on Wednesday nights. I usually don’t even remember the Gif Challenge is happening, but @danieltobin is dedicated to keeping it going. People love it. Folks send crying face emojis and shit when it gets canceled on rare occasions. I love that guy. He also starts Mischief every Friday night, btw. Me and / or Jenn usually pick it up later. We aren’t SNL, but we work at it some and we love our friends / fans.
Short story long, we appreciate all of the support and love down through these years. We’ll keep trying to make Twitter fun every week as long as you folks are interested. We don’t do this for all the money we get paid or the fame and golden statues we win. We do it for the children. And the middle class.
Also, I saw The Middle Class open for Sex Pistols.
Hearts and flowers and puppies to you all,
Editor's note: This article is posted in its entirety from the author's blog.
Confession is good for the soul, so it is time for white America to confess its ongoing lies to black America. We have been lying to you, and it is time for that to stop.
But before I tell you about the lies, let me tell you some things that we have not been lying about. These things are actually true, for the vast majority of us:
So, at least we can agree on those things, right? But now, on to the confession.
There are different kinds of white liars. Some lie for political reasons. Some lie for religious reasons. Some lie because they think if they don’t, they might face backlash. Some lie to gain social credit. Some lie even to themselves. But here is what we have been lying about.
Cops are racist and kill black people because they are racist. This is a lie. We don’t believe it. The statistics don’t show it. We think it is obvious that some black communities have frequent run ins with the police, and we suspect this creates opportunities for mistreatment. So, we can understand there are some bad feelings. But we also think the frequent run ins are a result of crime in the neighborhoods in question and not skin color.
We mean it when we “say their names.” We actually don’t. The truth is, most of the “names” we say along with you are not examples of actual police abuse. We could be easily convinced of abusive situations, but we would need to see the actual facts. We would stand with you against such abuses. The George Floyd video was awful. But lots of the “names” you throw out were killed, even if tragically, under justified circumstances.
Systemic racism is real. It is not only not real, no one can even define it. You cannot solve something that you cannot define. If there were laws that discriminate on race, we would be willing to repeal them. If businesses discriminate on race, we are willing to see them fined and their practices changed.
America is a racist country (meaning, white racism). Of course there are white racists in America, but we don’t actually believe America is a racist country. In fact, as far as the “majority population goes,” America is the least racist multicultural nation in the world and probably in all of world history. We whites don’t sit around and talk about you behind your backs. We cheer your successes. But mostly, we are just busy living our lives, like you are living yours. We don’t have time to devote ourselves to racial hatred.
America was founded on racism. Nope. We don’t believe this. America was actually founded on the greatest ideals in world history. It did not live up to those ideals at first, but we fought a war to end slavery, and we ended Jim Crow too.
Blacks cannot be racist. Another lie. Anyone can be racist. This nonsense about “institutional power” required to be racist is just that, nonsense. White Americans are actually getting really tired of the double standard.
Black poverty is a result ONLY of racism. We know the country held black people back legally for a long time. We recognize that fact, and we are willing to account for it. But if we are being honest, we see a great deal of dysfunction in the black community that must be addressed. This list would include the decline in two parent families, crime rates, welfare dependence, lack of focus on education, glorification of destructive behavior, even songs about “WAP.” We are willing to do our part to bring more wealth to black Americans (such as affirmative action to account for past inequities), but our willingness will grow less and less over time.
We value the ongoing protests, because those are needed to make people listen. LOL, no. It is not like we don’t see and hear your complaints. It is just that we don’t always agree with them. The confrontational protests and especially the violent protests actually make more white Americans less motivated to join the movement.
Phew! That feels better.
I hope if you are reading this you are appreciative that I value you enough to speak truthfully to you rather than to say one thing to your face while I quietly mean something else.
Obviously, this entire post is hyperbole. I don’t speak for white people as a group, and not all whites think alike. We are all individuals (no matter our race or culture). We should all be treated as individuals.
But we do need more honesty in our national discussion. I hope you can see the positive things I led this post off with as more important than the things that followed.
People of good heart want to see more justice in this country. They want to see more unity. But they are tired of the lies we tell ourselves.
Just a gaggle of people from all over who have similar interests and loud opinions mixed with a dose of humor. We met on Twitter.